On Combatting the Forces of Darkness or Defining the Weekend: The Hangover Show

Note: This is the first of a series of posts on discovering and defining the minutiae of the weekend that everyone works so hard for. Any ideas or thoughts, hit me at itsmcsquared@gmail.com

I've gotten to know the process of the Hangover very well in recent years. I know that I've become swiftly skilled in causing them to happen, and while I know how to prevent them, or at least mitigate their impact, I refuse to do anything but let myself get beat down by a love of too much whiskey every Saturday and Sunday morning. Consequently, I've had to train myself in the 36 Chambers of conquering the hangover in order to have a functional weekend (obviously important when one works a nice 8-5 job with an hour-plus commute each way.)

The Alchemist and I have actually researched the physical causes of the Great Dark Cloud, and we have done our best to create magic elixirs and potions to soothe the beast, all to no avail. While everyone who has had his or her share of hangovers has a few special ingredients that expedite the process, there is no single cure. However, this is not about those ingredients (that's a whole other article); this pertains to a recent discovery and pleasure of mine that has become easily accessible with the myriad of digital entertainment options available to any American with internet and cable.

I'm talking about the Hangover Show.

The Hangover Show is something I partake in almost weekly now. It fits in the region of the hangover that is past the "What the Fuck Happened Last Night?", "Certain Death", and the "Why, God, Why?" phases of the hangover and before the "Ok, Not So Bad' and "Alright, Let's Put Some Pants on and Do Something" stages. Let's say it exists in the "Uggghhhhhhhhh" stage, where the myriad of secret ingredients (i.e. Coffee, Advil, Vitamins, Death of the First Born) are beginning to to take hold and clear the murk within the body. You know, when Mr. Clean and the Brawny dude start squeegeeing out your insides (no homo). You're conscious, but you sure as hell don't want to put much effort on thinking or moving.

In this cloudy state, I am perfectly capable of sitting on my couch, staring at a screen, and enjoying some light comedy, drama, or a weighted-average of the two. The whole purpose of this show's existence is to coach me back to life so I can get to business on stumbling around the city and doing a whole bunch of not too much. Citizen Kane is not something to boot up during a hangover. Hangover Show will not ask much of me, but it will steadily excite me and tell me everything's gonna be alright. More importantly, Hangover Show will pull a rope-a-dope. It will get me caught up in an alternate world, so that my mind will forget about the hangover and let Mr. Clean will finish his business (ew).

That's the secret. The Hangover Show has to manage to take my mind off the physical pain and queasiness as well as the self-loathing of past actions and impending doom of seeing the pictures from last night. It nurtures. It tells me that I'm awesome; I'm a party monster who, through liquid engineering, has earned the right to absorb it's plot and do the Ali G finger snap when necessary. It also let's me fast forward through commercials.

This is an ever growing list, and I will attempt to categorize and analyze each show in due time (patience, young one). This is the first and my current favorite.


Prime Saturday Hangover Show Number One: Friday Night Lights

NBC's Friday Night Lights fits in the hangover pocket for many worthy reasons. First, it airs at 9pm Eastern on Friday Night, the Death Slot. This is where networks place shows that they're not sure people care about but see some merit in, so when they get bad ratings, it's not hard to cancel them. Friday Night Lights has occupied this slot for two seasons. Rarely will I find myself in my apartment at 9 pm on a Friday night. There's post-work drinks, dinner, dinner-drinks, post-dinner drinks, post-post-dinner drinks, post-post-post-dinner-drinks-late night food, and a motley crew of other substances along the way that usually prevent me from sitting on my couch at 9pm to enjoy a solid hour of TV programming. It's also humorous that a show about high school football airs at the exact time when every high school football game in the country is happening, thereby alientating just about anyone who could have a passing interst in the show.

Nevertheless, it has pushed on, growing in depth and becoming one of the more enjoyable shows on TV. The brief rundown goes as follows: it's a good drama about high school football in West Texas (just like the book and movie). It has incredibly believable and well-acted characters, and triumphs in getting beyond just football. The book and movie were also great, but a serial tv show is able to take the amazing characters from the original story and fully investigate the depths of their personality. It's shot well, and most of the soundtrack is by Explosions in the Sky (look them up, it's worth it). Also, it does not break the Constitution of the High School Drama Show by making sure most characters are 5-10 years too old and smoking hot. There's also occasional bad-dialouge and ridiculous storylines; necessary. It's a great show cursed by a poor time slot.

It is also great at making me giddy like a 14-year-old girl. I truthfully am giddy to see what happens every week. Not many shows do that. The Wire and True Blood made me giddy and excited, but like a 20-something male should be, not an eigth grade OMG schoolgirl. I'm not ashamed of this, and it is a crucial factor as to why FNL succeeds as a Hangover Show. Simply pressing play makes me feel a little better. It's a great reason to get out of bed and make coffee. Also, it has about three truly affirming, make you say YES! out loud, moments each week complimented with a good amount of "Oh Shit, what are they gonna do?"-type moments. I know one or two other people who religioiusly watch this show, and please belive they receive texts around noon on Saturdays along the lines of "FNL so fucking good".

I love it, and it gets me ready to find my pants wherever they landed the night before, put them on and and finish slaying the Dragon of my hangover. A shower may come with it too. After Scenes from Next Week, I'll try to thank it for dragging me in, for making me forget about the headache going on outside of Dillon, TX, and it will say "It's my job as a hangover show; I'm proud to help you not feel like shit." Friday Night Lights meets the exact specification of the Saturday morning hangover. It knocks out the murk of Friday night and pushes the snowball down the hill towards a worthwhile Saturday, a fun/drunk Saturday Night, and the inevitable Sunday Morning Hangover.

-MC Squared

Current Sunday Morning Hangover Show coming soon....